DC Triathlon TEAM

I’m a mom of twin two year olds who works full-time and uses triathlon training to do something for myself. At some point earlier this year I thought it was a good idea to sign up for my first half Ironman and to choose a course that bills itself as the hardest course at that distance in the world. They call it Savageman for a reason. On my “bucket list” is an Ironman and I thought this would be a good step in that direction.

As I got into the peak of my training, just managing the logistics of a 4 hour bike ride within my family’s schedule was hard enough. Then, one of my girls started to ask me not to ride my bike as she would go to bed at night. As much as I try to minimize the impact on everyone with a 5am (or earlier) alarm clock, my time away is noticed. What was hard became infinitely harder. Inevitably across the miles I logged I asked myself repeatedly, “Why am I doing this?”

Health? - I can’t claim that I’m doing it to be healthy since there are much shorter distances that would provide the health benefits of exercise
To Lose Those Pesky 5lbs for Good? - My calorie expenditure has been offset by my increase in chocolate and dessert consumption; my vanity is quickly pushed to the back when confronted with a fresh-baked cookie
To Do Something for Myself? - I think this training starts to go over the line of self-investment to masochism. It’s nice to have a day to sleep in until 7am every once in a while. And again, much shorter distances could accomplish my need to do something for myself
Because I’m Afraid I Can’t? - This is ultimately the answer.  I’m intimidated by this race course. The dry run of the course didn’t do all that much to alleviate my fears. I’ve only managed to get in 90 minute instead of 2 hour bike rides before work. I could decide it’s too much for everyone for me to be this selfish, but I would never know if walked away for my family or succumbed to my fear.

My girls are at an age where they are trying lots of new things and sheer delight crosses their face when they realize they can do something for themselves.  I want them to always try new things and keep realizing everything they *can* do as opposed to being worried about failing. I don’t want those feelings of joy and pride to wane with their childhood. I want them to see that I’m continuing to challenge myself. I want them to be proud of me. I want them to be there when I cross the finish line and see in my face what I see in theirs when they reach a “goal” (if that’s what you call learning how to turn on the sink by yourself). And, let’s face it, I’m stubborn as sh*t. I signed up, I’m in. I hope to cross the finish line with joy on my face akin to what I see on their faces when they reset the boundaries of what’s possible.

But, just in case those hopes don’t come true, I’ll keep trying to compensate for my time away by doing ridiculous things like dragging everyone to a park when they are too tired to go, making pancakes on Sunday mornings when I’m home, and ignoring my swim workouts to instead play at the pool!