Where am I today with the post partum depression and anxiety? I admit I still have my ups and downs. But the difference now is that the downs do not drag on for days, weeks and months. I am able to channel my anger, frustration, sadness, stress with daily exercise.

A year ago I would have never thought I would race an Olympic distance triathlon. It seemed so incredibly long and hard. At that time I could barely even run an entire mile without stopping. There were many runs where my negative thoughts would creep into my mind and say things like: “you can’t even run 3 miles, how are you supposed to run 6.2 after swimming and biking?”  But I kept on pushing and never gave up. My mind sometimes still fills with negative thoughts but I force myself to block out those thoughts and replace them with images of my kids smiling faces.  Those are the faces I love and never want to let-down.  They deserve a Mom who is healthy both physically and mentally.

My chapter with Luna has ended but the rest of my life story is just beginning. Care to follow along? Well then…

Hello. My name is Amanda. I have a soft spot for baby boys, yellow Labs and a decent pair of compression tights. You can find me here.

This past weekend I completed the Powell3 Triathlon Challenge. To my surprise I also completely got rid of my fear of open water swimming and fish.

Pre-Race - I set up my transition area as I always do and stood around and did my usual nervous chat among other triathletes. Tried to eat a banana and a Luna Bar but my stomach was all in knots that it just didn’t taste that good. Luckily I kept all my food down prior to racing. Soon the announcer was calling all Olympic distance racers to the water’s edge. It was a very long walk down the boat ramp (almost a quarter mile) so I made the decision to bring my running shoes to the bottom of the ramp so I would have them when I ran back up the ramp to the transition area. This was a good choice as my feet are really sensitive.

   

Swim- 1500 m ( 2 laps around the buoys)
During the course of my short race history, my first few open water swims nearly left me suffering in the water with a panic attack this time or this time . But I wasn’t going to let this happen this happen in Lake Powell. As I stood there and watched the male Olympic wave finishing up I knew it was my turn. I didn’t get in the water ahead of time. I just focused on the first buoy and tried not to look at how far the other buoys seemed. The announcer yelled “GO” and the women’s Olympic wave was off and swimming. It was nice to just be in this small wave, our group could spread out a little more than normal. I focused on swimming just to the first buoy. I arrived at the first one faster than I thought and just continued on this pattern. “One buoy at a time” is what I kept telling myself over and over. We had to do the course twice. On my second lap I really kicked it in to high gear and was soon catching up to some other girls who had passed me in the beginning. I heard them announce that the Sprint wave would be starting and found myself pushing on even faster. I didnt want the super fast swimmers in the that wave to catch up to me. I found a swimmer and followed right on her heels up until the end. I focused on my breathing and following her bubbles in the water. Soon I saw the bottom of the lake and was just about to panic about the fish when I realized I was done. “A-Haaaa see ya later fish” was what I mumbled as I stepped out of the water. I dashed up the ramp to find my shoes and saw my husband standing there still looking tensely out at the lake. I yelled ” Hello-I am right here.” The look on his face was priceless. He said he was shocked to learn that I was already done. He wasn’t expecting me to finish that quick and told me to hurry up as there were only about 8 or 9 females ahead of me. I can finally admit that I am now comfortable with open water swimming. My swim time was: 31 minutes

T1 - I am so glad I left my shoes at the edge of the lake since it was a rough surface for a long while. I tried running up the ramp but I was a little dizzy from the swim. I finally made it to my bike and stripped off my wetsuit.

Bike- 24 miles
The bike course has some rolling hills at the beginning and a longer steep hill starting around mile 4. But for someone who lives in the mountains this hill didn’t seem steep at all. I passed a few people on the bike and then soon caught up to the male wave. I thought I was really smokin’ until it dawned on me that they were on their second lap and that is why I was catching up to them. Nice. I didn’t suffer any flats which was good because the day before while cruising around on my bike I had a flat and had to change it. Before I knew it I was finishing up my final lap and was heading in to T2. My bike time was 1:34 minutes. I was a little disappointed with that time but I can push myself harder next time.

T2- My second transition was pretty basic and I was ready to get this race done. I was dreading the run to be honest. I saw my family up ahead at the start of the run and heard my kids screaming “Go Mommy” and ringing their cowbells. It made it all worth it to hear them cheering for me.

Run- 6.2 miles
Running is my archenemy especially after swimming and biking. I am not fast and I have just chalked it up that I never will be fast. I just take it one mile at a time. It was tough running without music and at times it was painfully quiet. By this point I was getting passed left and right. I just kept searching for the darn turnaround point. I passed the Sprint turnaround point and thought “dear God how much farther?” The first half of the 6.2 miles was all uphill so of course it seemed like the bugs on the side of the road were crawling faster than me. I kept telling myself just run to a specific point and see how I feel and whether I want to walk. It worked for awhile and then I finally did need to walk. After what seemed like weeks, I arrived at the turnaround and felt better. I could relax except now it was a downhill and downhill’s are tough on my knees. I had a few stabbing pains in my knees that literally brought me to a complete stop but after stretching and slowing down they seemed to pass. I was able to see that I was one of the last few people of the race. They had already opened up the roads to traffic so the majority of the racers were already finished. I could see that the water stations were already starting to disassemble and I just hoped that they would save some cups for the last couple racers. Thankfully they did and I was able to hydrate at every single station. I crossed the finish and noticed (yet again) they were disassembling the transition area. But at this point it didn’t matter because I was DONE!

My final time was 3:27

I am beyond thrilled that I could handle this distance and plan to take a little break from triathlons for a little while. My goal is to really focus on running and to see if we can become friends.

Thanks for all the support this year and to those have had followed this blog. Next week is going to be my final entry for Luna.

The questions I get most often are: “What do you wear during the race?” and “How do you set up all your stuff?” I find that after talking with them, they in general feel like transitions (T1 and T2) are a huge mystery. I know when I first started out I had no clue. I actually thought after the swim you would run into the restroom and go take off your wet clothes and put on your cycling clothes.

The clothes I have on underneath my wetsuit are the clothes I will wear to swim, bike and run in. For me that is a quick-dry sports bra, a women’s tri top and tri shorts. As Kristine pointed out in her blog post there is a big difference between cycling shorts and tri shorts. Don’t be caught with “a big wet diaper” when you exit the water.

When you first arrive to your transition area (it is just a horizontal bar) you will need to hang your bike on the bar by the seat. My first triathlon I was expecting bike racks like the ones you stick your front wheels into. Clearly, not the case.

- Take a towel and lay it down on the ground directly underneath your bike. You get very little space in large triathlons so make room because if you don’t- you will find your stuff later totally rearranged by someone who thinks they need to squeeze in next to you and believe you are taking up way too much room.
- Place your running shoes at the very top of the towel, closet to your bike.
- Lay your race belt (a must have) and your visor or hat on top of your shoes.
- Lay your bike shoes just in front of your running shoes and place a sock (if you wear them) in each shoe. I even go so far as to stretch out my socks to make them easier to put on with wet feet.
- Next I take my helmet and balance it on my handlebars on my bike.
- I place my sunglasses inside my helmet so I wont forget to put them on.
- Then I take the half of the towel that isn’t being used and I just roll it up or fold it over. I use this section of the towel to wipe off my sandy/dirty feet after coming out of the water.
- The order that you just placed all your stuff in, is the order you will put it all on. So if you are standing above it- you would start with the bike shoes and work your way back, ending with your running shoes/gear.
- I always carry an extra set of goggles and an extra swim cap.

   

These are just some basics and there are many different ways to set up your transition area. It is a good idea to practice transitions prior to race day so you know just what to expect. Overtime you will realize what works and what doesn’t work.

But most importantly just get out there and have fun!

You can find more Luna Chix Triathlon Tips & Advice here: TLC Triathlon Tips

First triathlon: Fumbling with my race belt!

As I look back on where I am a year later so much has changed and for the better. I am just over a week away from doing my longest distance yet. Back in January when I made the decision to do an Olympic distance, October seemed so far away. It’s now time and as usual I am a little freaked out. My biggest worry right now is not being able to finish the entire distance. I haven’t yet pushed my body this far and that leaves me with reservations.

But what will get me through this race is the images of my boys flashing in my mind. When I am out there by myself on the bike or run I think about my kids.

I admit I don’t think about anything but survival on the swim! I think about where I would be had I not reached out for help. I think about that one eventful night when I stood and saw my brother cross the finishing of Ironman and the emotions he was experiencing. It was at that moment I made a vow that things in my life would change. I wanted to feel exactly like he did at that moment. My family will be there at this next race and that really means the world to me. It will give me that final push on the run to know they will be standing there waiting to see me cross the finish.

It also means we are all getting out of the house for Fall Break, yes here in AZ they get a Fall Break which is still really strange but I will take it! I am glad we are getting away for the week as I feel a little guilty as I sit and play the Wonder Pets over and over on TV for my two year old so I can write a couple blog posts. Clearly, not Mom-of-the-Year status but sometimes you just have to do what you can do to get a little alone time.

So here’s to the next week of changes and excitement. As nervous I am at about all this, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I love where I am in my life right now.

When I got to the trailhead parking lot I opened it and read the words: “It hurts up to a point and then it doesn’t get any worse. -Ann Trason”

My first thought was ok who is watching me and why did you put this in my pocket? I smiled because it was most likely from the awesome folks at Luna. I received the wallet from them at Summit back in March and they probably slipped that little motivator into all the wallets prior to handing them out.

My initial plan was to only run 5 miles today but as I plugged in my ipod the distance I wanted to run I saw 10K and thought sure why not. Throughout my run, I kept thinking about that note that I was carrying.  For the first time in my running life I felt zero pain and didn’t ever once feel like giving up. This happens often on my runs (ok every run) so this was a huge accomplishment for me. I just kept thinking I have the next hour to myself, I feel free and relaxed. Enjoy the scenery- just go and that: “It hurts up to a point and then it doesn’t get any worse.”

I got to the halfway point and smiled b/c normally I dread to get to this point but this time it was awesome. A sense of empowerment came over me and for the first time ever I felt “runners high” at mile 4. My feet kept me going and I secretly said a thank you for these feet and strong legs to get me to this point.  After my foot injury awhile back I no longer take my feet for granted.

I finished the 10K in a little over an hour which was a new PR for me.

Thank you to the person who stuffed that little “gem” inside my pocket. It helped me more than I thought it would. In fact so much, that I might get it tattooed all over my forearm.

Pure running bliss at the end of my run!

 

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I thought I would share mine.

These answers below are specific to running so I am thinking a triathlon-themed one should be started one of these days!

1. Best run ever:  The moment I crossed the finish-line at my very first race which was America’s Finest City 5K.  It was a perfect day and a perfect setting for my first time racing. We weaved in and out of San Diego’s famous Balboa Park and I think I had a smile on my face the entire time. I felt so great that I never wanted it to end. It was a rush and even though I didn’t have anyone personally cheering me on at the finish it still felt amazing to hear my name announced over the loudspeaker.

2. Three words that describe my running:  Slow. Necessary. Therapeutic

3. My go-to running outfit is:  I have to wear capri’s when I run since my thighs rub together (working on that) but I have always loved capris that fall just below the knee. I enjoy a mild compression capri as they don’t make me look like a stuffed sausage.  Another must is a headband. I hate hair in my face so you will almost always see me wearing a headband. I like the thick ones and the ones that stay-put on my head. Nothing makes me more mad than a headband that slips all over the place when I workout. 

Punkee Love headbands are the ones I prefer because they are cute and stay put!

4. Quirky habit while running:  I almost always have to run to finish at an even mile. So if I am at 3.79 miles, I will always run longer to finish at an even 4.00. Sometimes this requires an extra loop or backtracking but I don’t care, I prefer the extra mileage.

5. Morning, midday, evening:  It has to be in the morning. I get tired in the afternoon and even more so in the evening. Nothing happens (but fighting) after school dismisses when both children are together. So most definitely morning!

6. I won’t run outside when it’s:  not too hot or not too cold. Yes just like Goldilocks. I am a mild weather runner luckily for me we have mild weather quite often. It is also another reason why I run on a treadmill quite often.

7. Worst injury—and how I got over it:  I started training for my first triathlon in January of 2011. I signed up for a Spring triathlon that I begged my 2 best friends to do with me. The training had been going great until 6 weeks before the race, I tripped on the stairs of our RV. I was holding our youngest in my arms and missed the last stair of the RV and slammed my left foot down onto the concrete. I saved my son from seriously getting hurt but my foot took the blow.  I ended up with a broken bone along the base of the toes and a dislocated pinky toe.

I wasn’t able to complete the Spring triathlon but my foot healed much faster than I anticipated. I stood on the sidelines and cheered my best friends on and secretly wished it was me doing the race with them.  The injury set me back in my training but I eventually completed my first triathlon later that Fall.

8. I felt most like a badass mother runner when: I was discussing running with someone I had just met and he says to me: “You mean you could just go run a 10K right now if I asked you to?” My answer was “Sure!”  It was awesome to finally be able to say that.

9. Next race is: Lake Powell Olympic Triathlon in 3 1/2 weeks. Oh boy typing this just made me a little sick to my stomach. I am really nervous about this distance. And that’s all I am going to say about that.

10. Potential running goal for 2013:  I have so many different races on my bucket-list right now, I really don’t know how I am going to narrow it all down to just a few next year. One year I would love to take the family to Disney World to take part in one of the Disney Runs. (It would take some work to get the husband on-board with that one, he’s not really a Disney fan). I also would love to do more “fun runs” like a Color Run, or the Chocolate Run, probably another Skirt Chaser event and maybe this one with my 6 year old Neon Dash. And lastly Stephanie has me pondering a Ragnar Relay.

And these are just running races…the triathlons I want to do would be a whole separate blog entry.

Can we keep this post going? Do you have a blog?  Answer these questions on your blog and post a link below.

September 10, 2001

It was a normal day flying up and down the West Coast. 6 legs (flights) and I was only about halfway done. Around 3:00 in the afternoon I had a short lunch break in San Francisco and decided to call my good friend S. who was a Flight Attendant for American Airlines. We chatted while I ate lunch and quickly got caught up as to what was happening in our lives. As we were wrapping up our conversation S. said “well I better get going, I have an early show in the morning. I am doing the Transcon to the West Coast in the morning.” (S. was based out of Boston). It was good to hear from her and I carried on the rest of the day as usual. We landed pretty late in the town of Bakersfield, CA where we were going to have our overnight.

September 11, 2001

It was 6:25 in the morning when my hotel phone rang. It was way too early for the phone to ring as it was a late night prior.  On the line was my Captain,  I will never forget his words: “Amanda wake up, turn on the TV.” At this point I was mad since he woke me and I mumbled to him ” It’s way to early for you to call me. And no I am not going to watch some crazy Jerry Springer episode you just found!” (He would often find strange things on TV and then call me to tell me to watch it-we flew together often).

He then yelled: “No really, turn on the TV, planes are crashing on the East Coast and we are NOT going anywhere today!”

I don’t even think I said goodbye I just dropped the phone to the floor and turned the hotel TV on. I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was shortly after the second plane had just crashed and they just kept showing it over and over. The next thing I heard was a reporter say “American Airlines Flight 11 from Boston….” I gasped out loud and all I could think about was my friend. I kept hearing her words over and over in my head about having to wake up early and what flight she was going to fly. I was sick to my stomach. I fumbled for my phone and frantically dialed her number. All I got was a strange noise on the other end. It wasn’t a busy tone or even the “all-circuits-busy-tone.” It was completely different. I finally was able to reach one of her family members who told me she was ok and that her flight had been switched. She was on reserve so it was very common for that to happen. I was beyond relieved to find out she was ok.

We spent the next day and half living out of the Doubletree Hotel in Bakersfield. All flights had been grounded and all crews were to remain exactly where they had landed prior to the horrific events. We were told to just stay put and wait for further instructions. Not a single person knew what to do. While waiting it felt as if time was moving in slow motion. I spent all my time on the phone with frantic family members assuring them I was ok and that there really wasn’t anything I could do but just sit and wait.

I eventually got a call from scheduling telling me that I could go home. Lucky for me Bakersfield was only a couple hours from Fresno (where I lived at the time) and my company arranged for me to take a bus home. As I sat on that bus I looked up into the sky with tears and it was at that moment I unleashed all my emotions. I just sat and cried while staring at the sky with wonder.  At this exact moment not a single plane was in the sky and it was a ghostly feeling. Would I fly again? (Yes) Would it ever be the same? (No)

Now that my son is getting older he is starting to ask questions about September 11. My children were not around on September 11, 2001 so they don’t know much about it. But this is the first year my oldest has asked what it means.  I don’t want to downplay the events that happened but since his Dad is a pilot, I don’t want to cause him to worry either.

September 11 was such a tragic day but I have tried to turn it around and do something good instead. This year my children will deliver cookies and homemade Thank You cards to a local fire station.

Last year I completed my first triathlon on September 11.  It was my own way of remembering and being thankful for the life I have and for turning it around when things got really bad.

Today I will pause to remember the thousands who lost their lives. In addition, I will take a moment to be thankful for all my friends and family who are with me today. I am reminded that life is short and it can all be taken away from you in a split second.

My swimming is taking a back-burner right now. I am really focusing on running and biking but I am neglecting the swim practices. Honestly there is just not enough time in the day to get all my training done

School is back in session but that only means we are busier than ever. Between drop-off, pick-up, trying to keep my toddler in playgroup activities and shuttling back and forth with after-school activities, it is tough. I only have about an hour a few days a week now that I can really get my workouts in. Of course it’s different when my husband is home but he’s been flying a lot lately. The stress is taking it’s toll but I am trying to stay positive. Of course now more than ever is when I need those good cardio sessions. But one thing I am really looking forward to is that my parents and my grandmother will be moving to the area in a month. I know I can always count on them to help with the kids and that will truly be a blessing.

My “A” race is going to be held in Lake Powell naturally we are making a week long vacation out of it. The best part about starting school early in Arizona is that the kids get a Fall Break. We plan to visit Zion prior to Lake Powell so I am really excited about all the cool hiking and sightseeing we get to do. It’s going to be a great vacation and I am glad ours boys can experience these types of vacations.

I am thinking this race might be my last triathlon for the year. After this race I will take some time off to reflect and really think about my training for next year. I have some decisions to make for 2013 and the timing of this race couldn’t be more perfect. I do hope I could get at least one more 5K or 10K run in at the end of the year. One good thing about being just a few hours from Phoenix is that the race season goes well into the winter months. Any and all types of races are held when other states are winding down for the year.

In the meantime, I better get back in the pool.

-  Your bike costs more than what you have saved up in your kids’ college fund.

-  You take your kids to the beach and can’t help but wonder: “how far out would I have to swim to reach 750 meters?”

-  The high-heeled shoe collection in your closet slowly gets phased out. Replaced with: the running shoes, the cycling shoes, the trail running shoes, and the just-for-training/everyday shoes.

-  Your once stylish wardrobe now consists of endless amounts of race T-shirts. And if they are not white or black you really feel like you are dressing up!

-  Family vacations now revolve around which race you are doing and where.

-  The number of water bottles in your dishwasher exceeds the number of sippy cups or plates.

-  Your 6 year old can explain to someone, the difference between a Sprint distance, an Olympic distance and an Ironman.

-  After spending a day at the pool with the kids you can get them out of the pool, dried and dressed in under 2 minutes.

-  When you tell your spouse you are going for a (bike) ride; your kids never ask to go with you.

-  When you forget it’s your turn to bring snacks to Toddler Playgroup and this is all you can come up with:

I expressed my feelings to my husband and my brother (aka my coaches) about a week ago and was told I just need to “shake things up.” They were shocked to see that all I had been doing was running on a treadmill and no wonder I was bored with it. They suggested I run more outside. Seems like a logical solution but I didn’t think I would enjoy running outside. I am such a fair-weather runner. I prefer mild temps (air conditioning), a fan blowing on me, no bugs, snakes or other animals to worry about.

Since I was beginning to get bored on the treadmill, I decided maybe it was time to get outside. We have endless trails near our house and I should probably take advantage of them! Last week I picked a popular trail and started out before it got hot. I eased into the run and took in all the sights and sounds around me and before I knew it I was at 3 miles and I still needed to turn around and go back. Those 3 miles seemed to go extremely fast. I did run into some creatures but I didn’t allow them to bother me. One was a giant snake who slithered across the trail in front of me. Thank goodness he was harmless but I didn’t let it deter me from stopping. I just paid more attention to what was up ahead.

The last few times I have run outside I have also noticed my speed is increasing and I like that! Instead of my typical 11 minute miles, I am now averaging about a 9.30 pace. It’s still not as fast as I want to be but for this slow runner- it is improvement and I like when I can see improvement.

What I also love about the local trail running is running into friends.

On my last run I met up with some Mommy-friends who I hadn’t seen in awhile. I completed my run and was able to finish off another mile while chatting and catching up with them the entire time. It certainly made my day and I can’t wait to get back out there.

And you can’t beat the views when you run outside.

Why in the world would I want to race in a category that basically slaps a label on my body? For starters I am comfortable with my body and more important this fit body. The best part about racing endurance sports is that you shouldn’t be ashamed. You are the one putting your heart and soul into that race and nothing else should matter. During my last race I had a very fit guy yell from the sidelines as I was struggling: “You are doing great, you are the one who is out there- not me…I couldn’t do what you are doing right now!” It made me stop and think he’s right and it really gave me that extra push toward the finish line.

By racing in the Athena category, I can race alongside others who have a similar body shape. Sometimes this group might be a little slower and have fewer participants but I am ok with that. Racing in the slower group lessons my chances of being climbed on and over or having my head shoved down during the swim just as I come up to take a breath. The Athena waves (groups) are typically the last ones to start. I am fine with starting in a later wave since all the faster “power-swimmers” are already out of the water when I am just starting.

I hope the Athena category inspires more women to get out there and race. Triathlon is an intimating sport and just knowing that you have a class where you can feel comfortable with your body shape and not have to feel embarrassed has certainly helped me.

In last week’s post I mentioned I placed third in the Athena category so I took home a bronze medal.  Since our family was in true Olympic spirit, my 6 year old son is very much into medals and what they represent.  When I called him after my race last week and told him I had received a bronze for my division, he was elated and cheered for joy! He couldn’t wait to get his hands on it to hold it. Did it matter that it was in the Athena category? No way! I just hope that I can continue to be an inspiration to him.

Do I wish it was an Olympic bronze? Of course I do, but I’ll leave that to the Luna Pros.

Nerves are setting in.

Swim 16:34 (500 yards):
Race day came and I was ready to just get the swim over with. Of course I was the last group of racers to enter in the water. So it was pure torture watching everyone go ahead of me. I did this race with my brother who can pretty much talk me down during any stressful situation. The gun went off and I ran toward the waves. I chose to wear my wetsuit for two reasons 1) I felt more secure and protected should something come up and bite me in the water and 2) for the buoyancy factor. The first few minutes in the water was basically just a run out until you got waist deep and then dive, come up, duck, and repeat over and over. I felt like every time I would come up I would get pushed back toward shore. It was a little frustrating but having grown up in Southern California and swimming in the ocean a lot as a teenager, I had to remind myself not to panic and that I can do this. I made it out past the waves and there was a strong current pulling me so it made it really tough to round the buoys. Once I scraped my knees on the sand, I was relieved that I could now run out of the water.

T1 2:34 - This transition felt like it took about 35 minutes. It was a really long stretch from the beach up to the top of the transition gates. I struggled getting my wetsuit off and my socks. Nothing is worse than having a bunch of sand in your shoes and socks so I took the extra time to get it all off.

Bike 1:10 (18.6 miles)
The bike was a blast. My new Trek worked great. I am very happy and comfortable on it. It was a pretty flat and fast course. I drank a lot on the course, which later turned out to be an issue on the run.

T2- 1:58 I was pleased with this transition. I don’t think I could have done anything different.

Run 35:07 (3.1 miles) The first mile of the run was a long stretch up to the top of the Hovercraft launch ramp ( we were on a military base). I was dragging the first mile or so. All that water and electrolytes I consumed was now just sloshing around in my stomach. I could hear it and I am sure other runners could too. It hurt to run. My gut hurt and mentally I felt like I go faster but the stomach was saying “no way!” I got passed a bunch by runners and that was expected as my pace was really slow.

My husband cheering me on!

I crossed the finish line at 2:07:08. Since I raced under the Athena category that put me in 3rd place and walked away with a bronze medal.

My brother, my coach, my inspiration

The family and I are spending our last week of summer vacation in San Diego. I researched ahead of time that San Diego Luna Chix have a cycling team in San Diego so I arranged to meet up on one of their group rides. It was a great ride out to Cabrillo National Monument. The route took us through the windy streets of Point Loma and then up to the top of Cabrillo Monument Lighthouse. At the end of the ride was a steep downhill that led us to some tide pools. It was a long slow climb back up to the top but something I really enjoyed doing. Riding along the ocean always brings a huge smile to my face even in the cold-drizzle fog.

I feel like I am getting stronger on the bike. Perhaps it also could have been that I was at sea level (versus 5600 feet).  I was able to keep up with the faster group of riders and even took on the additional challenge of the tide pool climb when just a select few wanted to.  Last year I would not have even attempted the additional climb as hills used to scare me. But now I welcome them with open arms and that makes me happy.

The San Diego Luna Chix are a fun group of ladies who are all very good cyclists. The event was very well organized and they made each and everyone feel welcome. There were about 20 riders and all sorts of abilities. No rider was ever left behind and afterward there is always nice conversation and coffee at a local bakery. I am so glad I found these groups as they have always made me feel welcome. It is nice to workout in a non-competitive environment, share some laughs and make some new friends along the way.

When we first got the trailer years ago we found it hard to camp with our oldest son. As an infant any sort of change bothered him and he wasn’t shy about letting you know. Of course as he got older camping became easier and much more fun. Now it’s so nice to see my kids eyes light up every time we tell them we are going camping. A couple times this school year (my older son) was asked to write about a favorite trip or memory.  Each time he was asked this by a teacher, it always included some sort of story about our camping trips. My son is never one to express his feelings so this was a huge surprise for me.

My bike almost always comes with me on our camping trips. It’s a great opportunity to break away from my usual rides and take in all the new sites. Some of my favorite rides have been while we were camping. Nothing is more exciting then heading out to uncharted territory alone with just my thoughts and my bike.

Often times my triathlon schedule is based around a camping trip. I enjoy destination races and with our trailer we can make an entire vacation around a race. This way my husband and kids get a vacation while they cheer me on during race day! This year my “A race” is my Olympic distance triathlon in Lake Powell. We will travel during Fall Break (from school) and visit Bryce Canyon, Zion National Park of course stopping at Lake Powell for the triathlon.

Here are the reasons why I tri:
• I tri to release the anxiety and stress from my body.
• I tri because it makes me a better mom.
• I tri because of the rush I get when I cross the finish line.
• I tri to be a good example to my boys.

 

• I tri because it helps me sleep at night.
• I tri because of the friends who do this right along with me It is great to share stories and have partners to workout with.
• I tri because I love the connection I feel with complete strangers just prior to starting a race.
• I tri because I think back to the times in my life when exercising what not a priority and how terrible I felt.
• I tri because it keeps me healthy and strong.
• I tri because there is always room for improvement.
• I tri for this moment:

Sunrise on race day

There are times I have to remind myself of the above reasons. And it usually on those days you will catch me wearing the shirt.

Why do you tri?

I haven’t mountain biked in about 10 years. With my husband off flying all the time, we don’t get a lot of time alone together to participate in many things. It is usually, “You go for your ride and I will watch the kids” and vice versa. So this day was very special. One of the hardest things about having kids along with busy lives is finding time with your spouse to do the things you used to do together.  Even though he ended up waiting for me on most of the hills it was still nice to get outside, laugh and just enjoy each other’s adult company.

We started off climbing and climbing. I swear it seemed like all we did was climb up and shift gears. Holy cow I haven’t shifted gears that much and that fast in a long time! It was an adventure. I feel much more comfortable now with my bike skills then I did 10 years ago so I started to enjoy myself. I stopped worrying about all the bad things that could happen (like flying over my handlebars) and relaxed while taking in the beautiful Prescott scenery.

Halfway into the ride my husband’s chain broke on his bike and it couldn’t be fixed. Since we had already done all the climbing, all he needed to do was coast back down to the car (and he did that on a broken chain). Just as I got ready to hop on my bike I noticed a flat. I ended up changing the flat myself as I really need the practice (just the day before I got a flat in the road and got stuck trying to change it). So once I got the flat changed we were able to head back to the car.  Despite our mishaps, it was still a wonderful day and I found that I really do enjoy mountain biking. Not quite as much as road biking, but I will gladly go again someday.

 

In last week’s post I talked about purchasing a new road bike. On Friday I drove down to Cave Creek, AZ to a bike shop down there called Bicycle Vibe. A couple of my friends in my Team Anthem tri club suggested the shop. I had the intention to just go in and browse and maybe test out a couple tri bikes (since I have never actually sat on a tri bike). But I quickly I decided that a triathlon bike was not going to be the way to go for me. I am just not quite ready for that type of bike especially for the type of riding I like to do up in the mountains. I tested out a bunch road bikes and fell in love with a Trek Madone. I spent about two hours at the bike shop and Kevin (the General Manager) was so patient with me. I highly recommend Bicycle Vibe. I also love that the shop is also a coffee shop. So if you are in the Cave Creek stop in grab a cup-of-joe and drool over all the shiny new bikes and fun accessories that they sell.

   

I test rode my new Trek yesterday and it rides perfectly. I love how smooth the shifting is and the cool sound the carbon frame makes in the wind! I can’t wait to try this new ride during my next sprint triathlon in August.

I rode with my friends from Team Anthem. It was a ride I had done a few weeks before so I knew what to expect and I knew the ride was going to be fun.

The majority of the folks in the club are all pretty fast and I knew that going into it. It’s very intimidating riding with a group sometimes.  Prior to the ride I was nervous that I would just be left in the dust or some poor sap would get stuck with the “slow person.” It wasn’t the case this time. I kept up for quite awhile and then we started to hit headwinds and climbs—which for me is like a hitting brick wall.

I was eventually left behind in the dust, but didn’t really care and I was just glad to be alone as I would have felt horrible if somebody had to stay with me. It was my ride and I made the best out of it. I ended up making a wrong turn and didn’t quite meet back up with my group. At that point I had clocked over 20 miles and I still had to turn around and go back.

I love my bike, but it was a purchase I made last year without doing much research.

I was on a limited budget and really had no idea if I was going to stick with cycling. I don’t regret buying my bike, I just regret not getting something a little nicer. I am to the point right now that my current bike has been a wonderful trainer, but I am now ready to get serious about cycling and to upgrade to something better.

I have no idea what bike I want to get. I just know I want to go faster and invest in a more comfortable saddle. The buns were screaming after this last 40 mile ride! I am also having a hard time deciding on getting another road bike or a triathlon bike. I live in a mountainous area so I am thinking a road bike is better for climbing but the majority of my races are all out of the area and almost always on somewhat flat courses.

I would love feedback from anyone who reads my blog.  Do you have a road or a triathlon bike? What do you love about it? Do you have any advice you could give about purchasing a new bike?

I also registered for my Olympic distance race this last week in Lake Powell. I had been on the fence about this race for a little while but I did it…well I hit the “submit registration” button at least. I was hesitant because I wasn’t sure if I would be ready to do this distance (1500 m swim, 24 mile bike and 6.2 mile run)  by October. I have never done and Olympic distance so it really scares me. There will be no records, awards or PR’s in this race…I just hope to finish!

I started with spin class and built up the strength in my legs along with my endurance. Once I became comfortable with cycling on a spin bike I thought it might be time to head outdoors. I enlisted the help of my two friends (seems like they were always my guinea pigs when it came to this kind of stuff) but they cheerfully agreed.

We picked a weekend and hired a babysitter. We had to hire a babysitter to watch our kids for the majority of our rides because our husbands typically worked weekends. It was a way to make sure we actually followed through with the routine. It worked. We hired the sitter, committed to it and would get in a decent workout. There were no longer any excuses about not finding time to exercise.

Our first ride could have been mistaken for a circus show.  I dusted off my old mountain bike that had been sitting in the garage for about 10 years and hoped that the gears and brakes still worked. One of us showed up with her helmet on backwards and the other was on a borrowed pink beach cruiser with no gears. We planned a 6 mile route (yes only 6) but to me felt like we were riding the Great Divide. I ended up pushing my bike up every single hill. Despite how discouraging that ride felt, we still showed up week after week, then month after month, hiring a sitter to watch the kids and riding the same route. Of course the route got longer and the speed of our bikes increased.

We have since turned our helmets around, upgraded to bikes with gears and no longer get off and walk up the hills. Sadly, as we started to get in a normal routine I moved out of state. I was very upset to leave my cycling friends behind, but hopeful I would find new ones who were passionate about cycling as I had recently become.

After the move I was able to find some awesome folks to ride with like Team Luna Chix Phoenix Tri,  Team Anthem Multisport Club and the Prescott Triathlon Training Group. I highly recommend finding a group in your area to train with. I have learned so much from each group and they have made a beginner like me feel welcome!  And by joining these groups I have met some great friends. It has made the adjustment to moving to a new town only that much easier.

Team LUNA Chix

Team Anthem

If you are lucky enough to have a local Luna Chix Team in your area, please consider joining up with these ladies. They offer some great clinics and host some really cool fundraisers for The Breast Cancer Fund. Who knows? You might learn something and you will most likely make a couple new friends along the way!

As I held my son and he finally stopped crying these were the lyrics from the song that echoed over and over:

And here we go
Life’s waiting to begin

I cannot live, I can’t breathe
unless you do this with me.

The song is called The Adventure by Angels & Airwaves and the remainder of the lyrics can be found here.

It was those words that made me stop and think that I can’t do this without my son. And in turn he wouldn’t be able to do anything without me and just minutes ago, I was ready to let go and leave everything and everyone behind. I was ready to give up and my life really was waiting to begin.

From that day forward I made a better effort to reach out for help. I reached out to family and friends who had been there from the very beginning but by my own wrong-doing I shut them out. I eventually sought professional help and was extremely thankful to get my life back from the help I received. I was put on anti-depressants and finally started to feel like myself again.

 

My son still cried and although it really did not get easier, it just became more routine. I, in turn, had to learn that I couldn’t do it all and had to stop and let things go. I also had to learn how to ask for help—something I have never been good at. Every single family member has stood by and they are all completely supportive.

My husband has played a huge role in helping me get back to my normal happy self. He could have easily given up on me, but he didn’t. It was a dark time for both of us and I know he was sad, angry and confused on the inside. However he never once told me to, “Snap out of it” or, “Just brush it off.” Instead, he did lots of research. He researched how to care for someone you love when they are suffering from Post Partum Depression. He knows how to help me when I need help and he knows when to leave me alone when I need a break.

As I mentioned in my first post, I no longer have to rely on medicine during the day or to help me sleep at night. By channeling my stress, depression and anxiety with exercise or just getting outdoors I am much more calm and happy.

I recently found that I am starting to enjoy running. I also really enjoy running to music. The song I mentioned is one of my favorite songs to play on my iPod when I feel like stopping or giving up. (Ironically the lead singer of the band is a classmate from high school so I feel connected to the song in several ways). Each time it plays- no matter how much it hurts or how bad things are, I can and will get through it. It reminds me of how far I have come and to never look back. I am not sure if my son really remembers the song but I still find him smiling whenever it is played in the car.

The moment my son entered the world was supposed to be a joyful day. Prior to giving birth I had heard about PPD, but most often just ignored it or skipped over those chapters in my “What to Expect When You Are Expecting” books. It wasn’t going to happen to me. I waited my entire life to be a mom, spent months getting his nursery ready, took in every moment of his baby shower and counted down the days until I could hold my new little bundle of joy.

 

I wasn’t prepared for 16 hours of full-blown labor, losing large amounts of blood and coming dangerously close to emergency surgery. And now I had a baby placed in my arms who was screaming and relying on me to make him happy when all I wanted to do myself was curl up and cry from what I had just gone through.

My son cried every day for hours on end for the first few years of his life. I felt like a failure of a mother because I couldn’t console him. The more he cried, the more anxious and upset I would get. I was also pretty active prior to having a baby, but now I found myself barely having any energy to anything more then just getting up out of bed and I’d be lucky to get in a shower.

I was so busy trying to comfort him that I never found the time to get to the gym or let alone walk my dog each evening (things I used to do on a daily basis). The guilt from not doing those activities ripped me apart on the inside. I slowly felt the life being sucked out of me and I didn’t know what to do.

BK—Before Kids

The days were long, but the nights worse. My son slept well at night (mainly from exhaustion from crying all day), but I couldn’t sleep. Every time I would close my eyes, I would wake with sudden fear. I slept in short half hour spurts all night long. To say that my mind raced at night was an understatement.  I was afraid of everything. I would check locks on doors and windows several times a night. I would set the house alarm more than once to verify it was armed. I would check the temperature in my son’s room over and over. I would constantly check to see if he was still breathing. I would check to make sure the blanket wasn’t covering his head. If I did sleep longer then a half hour, I would wake in terror thinking something had happened to him while I was asleep. I would worry about how I was going to care for him the next morning on a limited amount of sleep. It was a vicious cycle that repeated itself day and day out.

When my son was around five months old, the crying spells were supposed to get better. Instead, they seemed to get worse. It was a beautiful warm spring day in Southern California—however it was the darkest loneliest miserable day of my life. It was day three of my husband being gone for four days in a row.  Day three of constant crying and waking all night long and dealing with him all by myself. It was that afternoon I decided to give up. I wanted to give up on being a mom. I wanted to give up on life. I wanted to give up trying to attach to a child that I felt didn’t want to attach to me.

 
Forcing a smile but so sad and empty on the inside

As he was screaming and crying I gently placed him in his crib, said goodbye and shut his door. I got in my car and drove off. I don’t know where I was going—I just remember wanting to go as far away as I could possibly go. After a few minutes of driving I finally came to my senses and returned home.

My son was safe, but he was still crying in his crib. At this point I should have reached out for help, but yet I was so stubborn to admit that I needed it. Instead I walked downstairs and turned on the radio really loud. I was desperate to drown out the sound of his cries (and my own).

It was at that moment a song came on that I have never heard before and it made him immediately stop crying. His red little face and bloodshot eyes gave me a tiny little smile and he just silently stared and continued to smile at me. As I looked at him I felt my heart melt and I finally felt connected to him. I sat and rocked him and listened to the words of the song as if the song had been written for this exact moment in my life…

We had a great trip and didn’t do much but eat, drink and lay by the pool! The pool at the resort was fabulous and I could have stayed all day. My oldest son is like me and spent the entire time both the in the pool and in the ocean.

The kid is a fish and if there is water, he is in it. My younger son is the exact opposite. He’s not afraid of the water but would rather just stand around and watch people swim all day.

He’s the only one wearing socks at the pool

It was quite the circus, juggling both kids and attempting to keep them happy at the same time. Thankfully my mom and dad traveled with us on this vacation so there were plenty of extra hands to go around.

Because my parents came with us it allowed my husband and I a chance to get a night alone and to take in the nightlife of Cancun. We planned to take a very romantic sunset dinner cruise followed by some late night dancing. We had been waiting all week for this evening.

All dressed up and ready to go out

As we checked in at the harbor and got our wristbands that indicated “Lobster dinner” we decided to walk a few blocks down the street to have a cocktail. The boat wasn’t due to board for about 40 minutes. As we sat in the outdoor bar along the beach we saw a giant storm swell coming toward us. It started getting darker and darker and soon it began to pour rain, thunder and lightening. The rain came down so hard that everything around us was flooding.

We then had to walk in the storm to get back over to the dinner cruise (which most likely) wasn’t going to set sail. Of course the ground in Mexico is almost always covered in tile or stone and I was now trying to run in ankle deep water with flip-flops on. I slipped several times and thankfully didn’t end up with a broken foot. We eventually made it back to the harbor and got our money back for the cruise and just ended up taking a taxi back to the hotel to dry out and have dinner (somewhere-anywhere).

Just drenched—but at least we can laugh about it!

We still got our romantic night it just wasn’t quite as planned. Sadly the real nightlife in Cancun doesn’t start until 10:00 pm and thanks to being a parent and just getting old, I can’t hang that late anymore. So these “party animals” called it a night at 9:45 pm and didn’t get to experience the true nightlife.

As mentioned in my previous post the workout clothes sat nicely in the bottom of the suitcase. Sigh…but it was vacation and I can workout another time. So this week it’s back to the gym and our old routines. Hasta la vista Cancun. The memories were wonderful but the number on the scale this morning was not.

 

It’s been a crazy week with end of school activities, endless laundry, packing and tending to a sick little guy. He has been sick all week so he’s been waking up every couple hours at night and taking a long time to fall asleep. I have to admit my anxiety is kicking in with full force in preparation of the trip. Traveling with children is tough especially small children. I worry about things like:

- How they will behave on the plane?
- What they will eat in Mexico?
- How will we schedule naps for the 2 year old?
- What type of activities can we do with them?
- Will they sleep well at night?
- Will my younger son’s ears bother him on the flight since he’s recently been sick?
- Will the rest of the family get the virus he had this week while we are in Mexico?

Along with my two year-old keeping me up, these are the thoughts clogging my brain at night. I also worry about not being able to workout and how will this affect my training? Will I have a major set back? I am sure the Westin has a gym, but I can’t tell you how many times I have packed workout clothes on a vacation only to have them sit at the bottom of the suitcase all week long.

I am so thankful that this trip my husband will be on the same plane as the rest of the family since we actually purchased tickets like a normal traveling family this time around. You see in our family (since my husband is a pilot), we almost always travel “stand-by.” Our last major trip to Hawaii my husband ended up traveling on a completely different flight while I traveled with the children.  Sometimes I wonder if he does that on purpose?

I know I am stressing about the small things and I really just need to relax. Perhaps, all I need is a good run on the beach followed by a comfortable lounge chair next to the pool to watch my boys splash around with joy in the water.

Let’s go, Mom!

Having friends that support your crazy ideas and do them with you is key!

Soon we donned our non-padded cycling pants (mistake) and water bottles and jumped right in. I was intimated by all the super fit skinny people in the room but still got on the bike. Within 7 minutes of class, I remember looking at Sara and thinking, “OH CRAP… it’s only been 7 minutes we are going to DIE.” We suffered through the remainder of the 48 minutes and luckily we did not get off our bikes and leave the class. We actually were crazy enough to sign up for four more. After those four classes were over, I continued on for several months in a row (and loved the classes more with each good sweat session). Right about the time when I started to really love this Spin studio, I found out we would be moving out of state. I was crushed to leave Janice’s Studio, but was hopeful I would find another I would like just as much.

My very first class at the Prescott YMCA was with Coach Patrick (who later I would refer to as Pain-trick since he seems to always inflict pain either during or after his sessions). I was used to sweet happy instructors that played cheerful upbeat music. He walked in and looked ticked off at the world and put on some really morbid sounding music. My initial thoughts were, “Who is this guy and can he teach?”  I only had one other male instructor before and he taught class as if my Grandma was taking it. Later I learned that Coach Pain-trick is a former Marine and yes he could teach.

It seemed as if all the folks in the class had known each other for years and I was the newbie. All eyes would be on the newbie and would the newbie get up and leave in the middle of class? I didn’t because I had some great instructors back in California, but I have to admit it was tough and I struggled. For the first time I had sweat beads dripping down my face. (I don’t sweat either so it’s very rare for me to actually drip with sweat). I take Coach Pain-trick’s class on a regular basis now. I look forward to getting my butt-kicked several times a week. He has actually become a friend and a mentor. I have learned a lot about cycling and running from him. I am no longer intimidated by his Spin classes or when he walks in looking like he’s going to give us a rough time. I just say to myself, “Bring it on!”

 

People ask me all the time, “Is Spin hard?” Yes it’s hard, but it is a good type of hard. You control the amount of tension on your bike so really you can make it as hard as you want it to be. For me the best part about it is that you don’t have to be coordinated. I am not into aerobics, dancing, step or doing all those combined with hand weights. At least with Spin I know I am going to get an amazing workout and feel wonderful about all the calories I just burned.

So the next time you want to go try out something new whether it’s Spin, Zumba, Cake Decorating class, Ballet or Jiu-Jitsu, try it with a friend. It’s much more fun!

It’s been tough to get back into my training groove this week. I only worked out twice and both of those times it was a struggle just to get in 40 minutes. My motivation is slipping. I believe I neglected my training this week because I was feeling a little guilty about leaving the kids for 4 days and with all the training I had been doing maybe I got lost in my focus. My kids are little and it should still be about them not me. But this week I made up for it and had my “Mommy Game On.”

We didn’t just celebrate Mother’s Day, we celebrated Mother’s Week! I did lots of park dates with my boys , a frozen yogurt trip, put together more Lego’s than I ever have in my entire life, hours of swing set play, lots of digging in the sand, cooking projects and half a Saturday at a wrestling tournament (trying to stay attentive to the one competing while chasing the other around a gymnasium). And of course attempting to make the house look presentable for when my husband returns home (ok that’s a lie-he could care less it’s me who can’t stand a messy house).

Playing on swing set

 
Mother’s Day morning with my boys. Yes, that would be Funfetti pancake mix because that is what you get when you let a 6 year old plan breakfast.

As happy as it made the kids this week, I didn’t feel like myself. I don’t feel as relaxed and calm and I don’t even want to explain how crappy I feel right now for not working out.  My kids do not fulfill my everything in me and my universe does not revolve around them. I love them to pieces and would do anything for them but I still need my “me time” and long for those breaks from them. Yet I feel selfish for wanting such. It’s all just a balancing game but why does it have to be so hard? Why should I feel guilty when I just need a break? Why can’t I be elated about our upcoming vacation with the kids when in secret I really wish it was just my husband and I?

I will admit though, that the most memorable parts about the week were the unprompted, “You are the best Mommy in the world” from my 6 year od and, “Tank-u-fir-breakfast” from my 2 year old. It really does make it worthwhile and reassures me that I am a good Mom and I am doing the best I can.  Maybe I really do need to step back and spend more time with the family and this little break was good. It’s not like I do triathlons for the purpose of placing and I am certainly not trying to qualify for the Olympics! I just race to finish…that’s all, and maybe to show off—well, hang up my race bibs in the garage.

No really, it’s not a competition as to who has more race bibs. But just between us: I am the bottom row.

 

Sunday Race Day:

Pre: The next morning I woke at oh-very-dark-hundred and mumbled the obligatory, “Why did I sign up to do this?” After a quick breakfast we were off to set up our transition areas. I was very surprised to see how many bikes were racked and how huge this event was going to be. We must have been early birds yesterday because there were now a ton of bikes in transition!

 

Soon we were being directed to the back of the resort to start the swim. My nerves and anxiety really started to kick in. Also I still had not decided which wetsuit I was going to wear (full sleeves or my new Xterra sleeveless). I wore the full sleeves in my last open water swim and was very uncomfortable during that race. But when I put my new suit it felt really tight around my neck. So tight that I was worried I was going to pass out in the water from lack of oxygen. After seeing another girl with the same Xterra wetsuit I asked her if hers was tight around the neck and she said, “Yes but it won’t feel like that once you get in the water.” Hearing that calmed me down a little and I decided to go with my new sleeveless. Nice…I was now testing out something new on race-day, something I have always tried to avoid.

Swim (800 meters): Entering the water was easy since they had you go in 2 by 2 every few seconds. I ran right out to my chest and put my face in and started to panic about seeing fish. I really have a fear of fish especially giant fish that hang out in the bottom of lakes. I kept trying to tell myself , “Just another pool swim, just another pool swim…with cloudy water…and a dark murky bottom…and fish…oh dear-god please don’t see a fish.”  I basically argued with myself (in my head) to get my thoughts under control. I have suffered 2 panic attacks in my life and I was not about to have a third in the middle of Lake Las Vegas. I got my thoughts under control and just went into fast swimming mode. My breathing was finally in rhythm and I felt great and in no time I was already at the water exit. I was shocked later to learn that my swim time was 20 minutes which was 5 minutes faster than my last open water swim. The Xterra wetsuit fit much better once it was wet and of course I didn’t asphyxiate in the water which was a plus!


Bike (22.5K): The bike course wasn’t that hard but it was very windy. There were some pretty harsh crosswinds and my bike jolted a few times which really freaked me out. But for the most part it was a fun course and very well staffed with police and race volunteers. The police did a wonderful job at keeping the cars stopped at intersections and we even had our own lane designated for racers on a busy highway. My ride time was 58 minutes. I was pleased with my time.


Run (5K): Running is not my sport and it showed in this race. And running up hill is even harder for me. It seemed like 2 of the 3 miles were all uphill. I ended up walking up all the hills but I didn’t feel so bad because I wasn’t the only one walking the hills. When I finally did get a downhill which was toward the end I gave it all I had but still ended up with a slow time of 37 minutes. I was just so happy to cross the finish line and to get my cute purple glittery finishers medal.

My time overall was 2 hours and 5 minutes.


Post race: I waited at the finish line to cheer on GinaMarie and was so happy that we did this awesome event together. We were both glad to be done because now we could go hang out at the hotel pool and reward ourselves with Pina Coladas. Later that evening we walked some of the Vegas Strip (not as much as we hoped since the quads were screaming). We got dressed up for dinner and went to a comedy show but sadly at 11:00 p.m. we called it a night, hardly “rock star” status for these Moms but at least we made it out.

Athleta Iron Girl did an amazing job putting on this race. There were so many little details (from the personalized race bibs, to the awesome purple tech tee’s and the post-race breakfast) that certainly did not go unnoticed. I highly recommend this race and even more so as a destination race. My friend and I are already making plans to return next year.

In July we will have lived here a year so I still consider myself a “newbie.” Heck we still have California plates on one our cars. The one thing I love about the town is how active it is. Even though I don’t mountain bike and am probably the only road biker, it’s still inspiring to see bikes loaded up on cars and ready to head out and hit the trails almost all year long.

The Whiskey Off-Road Race is 3 days of bike fun for the entire family. The Courthouse Square was rocking all weekend with festivities. My husband raced 28 miles on Saturday and the kids had a blast waiting at the finish line with their homemade signs and ringing the cowbell. Although I am so sick of the cowbell (and them fighting over it) that I came close to throwing the darn thing out the car window today.

 

This race attracted some big-named mountain bikers and most importantly the Luna Pro Team Ladies. I had a chance to meet up with Georgia Gould, Teal Stetson-Lee and Suzie Snyder from the Luna Pro Team.  They were all very kind and Georgia was so cute and sweet with my son. Hopefully they will realize that I actually do blog for Team Luna Chix and am not just some stalker wearing Luna gear following them around for the past 3 days.

They all raced 50 miles on Sunday. Major kudos to them for racing 50 miles with 3890 FEET OF CLIMBING! I am amazed at these women and how strong and brave they are to race this type of course. They really put a lot of dedication and hard work into the sport of mountain biking. I am lucky if I can get out to the gym for an hour and these women spend countless hours training; obviously it shows because they are extraordinary athletes.

It was so nice to see the whole town come together for this event. It made me proud to live here. Last summer I was hesitant to move. It was a huge decision to uproot our entire family to new state. We had been in California for so long and now we had to say goodbye. It might have been easier to do when we were younger or didn’t have children but I remember saying tearfully to my best girlfriends that, “I shouldn’t have to start all over again, it’s not fair.” But I can clearly say now that it was fair and it was a good decision. (The decision to move was due to my husband’s job).  I have met some wonderful friends so far and am glad we chose Prescott, AZ.  It feels great to call this place home.

Riding Tioga Pass (near Yosemite) last June. For a few months out of the year the pass is closed to automobiles but open road for cyclists!

Training for an Olympic distance will definitely be a challenge especially with two children and a husband who is gone 3 to 4 days a week. My husband is an airline pilot so when he is gone, he is really gone. The hardest part about him leaving on his trips is finding time to get my training done.

When we first moved to Arizona we immediately joined the YMCA. One of the biggest reasons why I had to join the Y was the childcare they offer while you workout. I really don’t know what I would do without the childcare and I hope they don’t ever take it away. If you ask my 2 year old, “Where do you live?” His reply is always, “Child Watch.” (Yep, that’s about right.)

The best part about the Y is not only the fantastic spin classes but also the pool. I can swim year round in the indoor 77 degree pool. Funny because it sounds like I use the pool everyday but really I don’t. Swimming doesn’t come naturally for me and again the creature-of-habit tends to migrate towards other activities that I am comfortable with like spin or running on the treadmill.

I feel like when I am in the pool I am in the spotlight. It’s very intimidating with the life guards hovering over me or other parents sitting in the sidelines watching me drag my body through the water, gasping for air as I don’t yet have the whole breathing-thing down. I also feel like my graceless stroke is being evaluated by the 16 years old lifeguards who are probably all on the local Varsity swim team. I try to swim a few days a week but realistically it’s more like a few days a month.

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With an attempt to challenge myself this past weekend, I ran my first 10K (6.2 miles).  Prior to this race, 5 ½ miles was about the longest I had ever run. I don’t really consider myself a runner.  I run and my legs move but I don’t exactly enjoy it, I just tolerate it.  My goal was to complete the race and not stop to walk. I didn’t end up walking but I swear my pace (especially up the hills) seemed slower than some of the walkers.

This was the first time I wore a heart rate monitor while doing a race and I felt it help me tremendously. I have a tendency to get overly excited right when the gun goes off and end up going really fast to eventually burn out quickly.  With the monitor I was able to keep a close eye on my rate and could slow down when needed. At the beginning I noticed people blowing past me and I thought to myself, “Careful you might burn out.” Sure enough I was right and those same folks who whizzed past me at the beginning, I was now passing them at mile 5! I certainly didn’t break any speed records or come home with any medals but I finished and that was all that mattered.

How do you challenge yourself?

10K in Cottonwood, AZ— Photo Credit: Brian Mickelson

My wake-up call came when I was diagnosed with post partum depression and anxiety. It took every ounce of energy to get out of bed and care for my children. I was so overworked and overwhelmed during the day trying to figure out how to be a Mom that I never made time for myself. I never made a decent meal and I never exercised. I was stressed out beyond all hope. Soon I could no longer keep up with my active husband nor care for two active boys. Eventually I did seek professional help and was put on medicine for the anxiety and depression. I felt a thousand times better while taking the medicine but deep down I always felt a little guilty for having to rely on a pill to feel like myself.

In November of 2010 I witnessed my brother complete his first Ironman. I watched him train for a full year and the intense rush of emotions he displayed as he crossed the finish-line made me realize I longed to feel that same rush of emotions and yearned to be happy again. Though I haven’t done an Ironman (nor come close to that distance) I completed 3 sprint triathlons last year. I felt that rush of emotions which was a mixture of exhaustion, tears, pure whole-hearted joy and happiness as I crossed the finish line and having my family with me at that exact moment meant the world to me. Within minutes I was already planning my next race.

I came to the conclusion that if I didn’t have a race on my calendar then I wouldn’t workout. It took me awhile to figure out but that is my motivation with every run, ride, spin class, or weight lifting session. I feel free and happy after a good sweat session. I no longer have to rely on medicine to get me through the day nor have to use it as a crutch at night to sleep.

I might be the world’s slowest triathlete and I certainly don’t look like a triathlete but I am strong and dedicated. Training for triathlons has made me a better person and most importantly a better Mom to my two boys. I am whole again.

One of my favorite race photos. You can see the joy that was captured
on my face and even better that my son is in the background!